Wednesday, December 02, 2020

The Absolutely Most Overwrought Op-Ed About Covid So Far

If you have pearls to clutch, you better go grab them to fully enjoy this exceedingly overwrought editorial over the dangers of Covid-19:

The Detroit Free Press: COVID has turned breathing into a deadly event and all of us into potential serial killers

 Better take a deep breath (or not) to enjoy this ride by Michael Stern:

As coronavirus burns an exponential path of destruction across the American terrain, an insidious blanket of shadow damage is quietly unfurling in its name. It’s not just the death and scarred lungs. COVID-19 has turned every man, woman and child into a potential serial killer.

A disease with a survival rate for age groups of 0 to 19 of 99.997% for 20 to 49 a 99.98%, for 50 to 69 years old 99.5% and 70 years old and above a 94.6% chance.  

If you have a 94.6%-99.997% plus chance of beating an encounter with a serial killer trying to do you in, gotta say I'd like those odds. 

You may want to just take a deep breath there Mr. Stern. Your hyperventilating is causing you to panic.  But he's far from done and only just begun to declaim and over-exaggerate:

So far, I’ve been fortunate. But not a day goes by that I don’t wonder whether my streak of good luck is about to end, because the person in front of me in the grocery line is wearing a mask below his nose — expelling a cloud of radioactive COVID dust that I cannot escape, short of dropping $50 on the conveyor belt and trying to outrun the security guard.

Yep, this dude is really writing an op-ed while having a massive panic attack.  Radioactive COVID dust?    Just a wee bit over the top exaggeration there, oh panicked one.

With alcoholism, opioid addiction or smoking, we stand a fighting chance. But COVID-19 has turned the most necessary part of living — breathing — into a deadly event. If there’s anything that can make us hate our neighbors, it is the possibility that their very existence — every breath they exhale — could be lethal.

Seriously.  Is he comparing this to the chance of becoming an alcoholic or drug addict or even worse - gasp, clutch pearls, - a smoker?   

Yep, a real lethal chance with every exhalation - with a 94.9-99.997% chance of survival even with full on exposure and actually being infected, not just from catching a chance exhalation.    That’s  a much better chance of survival unscathed than with meeting an addict in a back alley or a drunk driver meeting you on the road.

It’s bad enough that we have to fear contracting a deadly virus from a stranger at T.J.Maxx who reaches for the same decorative throw pillow. What’s worse is the brutal reality that the people we love and trust most in this world bring us the same risk. More risk, because these are the people with whom we have regular and close contact. Any sustained encounter with those we love — kisses, hugs, laughs, conversations — could bring fever, blood clots, fluid-filled lungs, and death.

I'd hate to hang out with this guy during flu season, ya know? I suspect even pre-covid this germophobe curled up in a ball when the sniffles came to town.  Also, what's with the reaching for decorative throw pillows?

The overwrought melting-down hypochondriac continues:

It’s bad enough that we have to fear contracting a deadly virus from a stranger at T.J.Maxx who reaches for the same decorative throw pillow. What’s worse is the brutal reality that the people we love and trust most in this world bring us the same risk. More risk, because these are the people with whom we have regular and close contact. Any sustained encounter with those we love — kisses, hugs, laughs, conversations — could bring fever, blood clots, fluid-filled lungs, and death.

Sheesh, take a chill pill dude. 

On second thought, forget that, you need to see a therapist, stat.  This kind of disabling anxiety you're emoting is simply not healthy.

It gets even worse and more overwrought from there, go forth and RTWT and then reflect on your excellent mental health by comparison. 

Probably the most over-the-top, overwrought, fear- and panic-filled article about Covid I've ever seen. 

I must say that it is the first time I've seen "Covid-19:  Gays hardest hit"  in print though, so there's that.

3 comments:

ProudHillbilly said...

So tired of it. And there's things like this: https://www.sgtreport.com/2020/11/the-covid-case-con-continues/. And the fact that so many of those ordering the peons to not gather are themselves merrily gathering. And the breathless reporters who take their masks off as soon as the cameras turn away. They don't believe their own b.s.

Beans said...

He probably read about the radioactive smoke from the forest fires around Chernobyl. You know, the ones dropping radioactive dust on Russia and the ChiComs.

Stupid reporters.

Nuke Road Warrior said...

Yeah, the local stations here in Eastern Idaho, are running a PSA made by the state showing a guy telling us to mask up. He was a mask skeptic, then got the 'rona, supposedly because he did wear his mask like a dutiful sycophant. After being hospitalized, and recovering he's now a true believer and wears a mask whenever he goes out. He RECOVERED, he's no longer contagious, he is reasonably certain to have immunity, but he now wears a useless cloth mask for reasons. This would be laughable except that my tax money paid to make this line of BS and has the imprimatur of the State government.