Some Lottery Humor For Today's Mega-Jackpot

With the chance of winning today's 1.6 Billion prize being much less than the chance of being struck by lightning or bitten by a shark, may the odds ever be in my favor. Ok, yours too, and if I win the drinks will be on me. After taxes, its around $800 million, and I'm ok with that, just saying.

This reminds me of a prior lottery craze when Moishe was seen at morning prayers a week before the big lottery drawing.

During silent prayer he couldn't help it but burst out: "Please Lord, let me win the lottery!".

The congregation was rather aghast.

This continued every day all week and as the lottery with his plea becoming more and more fevered, much to the consternation, shock, and disapprobation of the congregation.

Finally on the day of the drawing, with the most beseeching and loudest plea yet, Moishe belted out "Please Lord, let me win the Lottery!"

Suddenly there was a rumble of thunder and then a heavenly voice boomed:

"MOISHE, I'M TRYING BUT YOU HAVE TO MEET ME HALFWAY....."

"BUY A TICKET!"

Good luck folks.

Local Idiocy Of The Day: Win the Lottery, Stay on Food Stamps.

The Detroit News: $2M Michigan lottery winner defends use of food stamps


So if you won $2 Million from the State Lottery, how many of you, dear readers, would stay on food stamps?

Lottery winner Leroy Fick (sadly of Michigan) has no problem doing so:

A Michigan man who won $2 million in a state lottery game continues to collect food stamps 11 months after striking it rich.

And there's nothing the state can do about it, at least for now.

Leroy Fick, 59, of Auburn won $2 million in the state lottery TV show "Make Me Rich!" last June. But the state's Department of Human Services determined he was still eligible for food stamps, Fick's attorney, John Wilson of Midland, said Tuesday.

Eligibility for food stamps is based on gross income and follows federal guidelines; lottery winnings are considered liquid assets and don't count as income. As long as Fick's gross income stays below the eligibility requirement for food stamps, he can receive them, even if he has a million dollars in the bank.

One shame on Mr. Fick for ficking around and continuing to draw on public largess after winning that kind of money. I don't know a lot of people that would even consider receiving public assistance after winning 2 million, but apparently its ok by the state and Mr. Fick.

Also, I'm rather amazed at the stupidity of a federal and state system that doesn't consider liquid assets as part of the calculation for eligibility for public assistance. Liquid assets by definition are liquid and can be used to support oneself without reliance upon the public purse.

The mind boggles at the sheer idiocy of the system in action.