Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Massachusetts Man To Be Inducted As A Case Vignette For Hoplophobia In The DSM VI?

If not, he darn well should be.

Hoplophobia is yet to be recognized by the American Psychiatric Association and did not make it to be included as a disorder in the upcoming DSM V. Hopefully by the time DSM VI comes out, it will be recognized for the mental disorder that it truly is and some treatment response might be available for these poor souls.

After all, the APA is introducing all sorts of nice trendy disorders and removing politically incorrect disorders, so it may as well add what appears to be a true debilitating phobia.

The Case Vignette might look something like this: As reported by the Boston Herald Alberto Pina of Roxbury, Massachusetts was

fishing on a pier near Carson Beach thought he had caught a big one he could brag to his buddies about when his fishing pole began to arc. But what Alberto Pina, 37, of Roxbury reeled in was “upsetting and scary,” he said.

“I reeled in a gun,” Pina said, still hyperventilating as he described his catch more than an hour later. “Yesterday I caught a 27-inch bluefish. Today? A gun.” Pina had his 3-year-old son with him when he went to the pier Sunday afternoon to “burn some energy.” “My son was riding his scooter as I fished,” he said. Then he pulled up his big catch. “To pull something like that out of the water is extremely dangerous. I didn’t want my son to see something like that, but he did. Horrible,” Pina said. “When I pulled it up, I dropped it over at the pier. I didn’t dare to touch it.” Boston police spokeswoman Nicole Grant said Pina called 911 at 6:11 p.m., reporting that he “was fishing and caught a gun on his hook.”

Have Massachusetts men devolved to such blubbering piles of goo that they hyperventilate and almost pass out at the sight of a barnacle-encrusted gun? If that's not the sign of a severe psychiatric disorder, a stunning fainting fear of an inanimate object, then I'd be hard pressed to find a better example.

“I reeled in a gun,” Pina said, still hyperventilating as he described his catch more than an hour later. “Yesterday I caught a 27-inch bluefish. Today? A gun.” Pina had his 3-year-old son with him when he went to the pier Sunday afternoon to “burn some energy.” “My son was riding his scooter as I fished,” he said. Then he pulled up his big catch. “To pull something like that out of the water is extremely dangerous. I didn’t want my son to see something like that, but he did. Horrible,” Pina said. “When I pulled it up, I dropped it over at the pier. I didn’t dare to touch it.” Boston police spokeswoman Nicole Grant said Pina called 911 at 6:11 p.m., reporting that he “was fishing and caught a gun on his hook.”

He thought a barnacle encrusted gun was so horrible he didn't even want his son to see it and then he thought it was horrible that his son did see it? That's some severe mental deficiency there.

He's also so ignorant and afraid of firearms he can't even tell a handgun from a rifle:

“No dinner tonight,” Pina said. “I came here for some striper, not a rifle.”

Good thing you didn't catch a rifle then.

To think that Massachusetts men have been reduced to this.

Clearly Mr. Pina is going to need years and years of therapy to deal with this debilitating experience. Perhaps a supervised trip to a shooting range to see firearms in a safe environment might help, but I wouldn't suggest such an exposure to guns so early on in his recovery. His treatment will clearly need to be structured over time to gently help him deal with his irrational fear.

Sadly the APA won't think of Hoplophobia as a mental disorder crying out for treatment.

But the APA should think of it - a bold new approach to dealing with hoplophobia that could help thousands and bring us out of the dark ages. Maybe Psychiatrists should test these assumptions and deal with hoplophobia analytically, through experimentation and a "scientific method". Maybe this scientific method could be extended to other fields of learning: the natural sciences, art, architecture, navigation. Perhaps the APA could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance!

Naaaaaahhh!

Mr. Pina put on your big-boy pants, man up, grow a pair and quit acting like a flipping wuss. It's an inanimate object fer crying out loud.

Oh, and Mr. Pina, if you can't find your big-boy pants by yourself, I'd suggest this man as your therapist:

1 comment:

ProudHillbilly said...

Unfortunately, hoplophobia has been know to be terminal. As in when a bad guy shows up and all you can do is scream like a girl.