Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Some Lottery Humor For Today's Mega-Jackpot

With the chance of winning today's 1.6 Billion prize being much less than the chance of being struck by lightning or bitten by a shark, may the odds ever be in my favor. Ok, yours too, and if I win the drinks will be on me. After taxes, its around $800 million, and I'm ok with that, just saying.

This reminds me of a prior lottery craze when Moishe was seen at morning prayers a week before the big lottery drawing.

During silent prayer he couldn't help it but burst out: "Please Lord, let me win the lottery!".

The congregation was rather aghast.

This continued every day all week and as the lottery with his plea becoming more and more fevered, much to the consternation, shock, and disapprobation of the congregation.

Finally on the day of the drawing, with the most beseeching and loudest plea yet, Moishe belted out "Please Lord, let me win the Lottery!"

Suddenly there was a rumble of thunder and then a heavenly voice boomed:

"MOISHE, I'M TRYING BUT YOU HAVE TO MEET ME HALFWAY....."

"BUY A TICKET!"

Good luck folks.

3 comments:

Murphy's Law said...

I have decided that when I win, I am hiring you to replace me as doorman and security specialist at the Friday night burlesque show I took you to. Position comes with nice house and car and seven-figure salary. So start working on your drinking skills now.

Joe Mama said...

You don't have to buy a ticket to win. The wind can blow the winning ticket and stick it to the side of your shoe. But you still gotta bend over and peel it off.

Aaron said...

ML: Sadly, I did not win, otherwise you would have your very own A-26 pulling up in front of your house right now.

Joe Mama: That would be one rather unlikely way to get a winning ticket, but it would be a pretty good indication of divine intervention, or some poor unlucky schlub being really clumsy, one or the other.