Wednesday, July 19, 2017

It Was Like Dragon's Milk To Him

Because it was Dragon's Milk.

When I met up with Tom last Friday night, I presented him with a bottle of this fine Michigan product:

At 11% it has quite a kick that sneaks up on you, and then drop kicks you especially as it comes in a bottle containing a pint and 6 ounces.

It tastes a bit like Guinness that's been aged in a bourbon barrel. It has a very deep, complex, and rather roasted taste that grows on you as you sip it, or the alcohol content does anyways.

Tom appreciated it, and even moreso when I told him the story behind it:

For you see, New Holland has Michigan's oldest monastery where the monks have taken a vow of silence, and within the walls of the monastery is indeed a real live dragon that is milked to produce the eponymous wonderful substance that I brought to him.

Milking a dragon is rather hard work as a dragon tends to take exception to it, typically by ripping your arms off.

So twin monks were tasked with the job of milking the dragon.

It went well until the Dragon grew annoyed with the first one and sure enough ripped his arms off.

The Abbott then had to find him a new job, and the only one he could do was to climb the tower and ring the monastery bell to signal the time of day by taking a running jump at it and hitting it with his head.

This he did for sometime with great devotion and fervor and until one day he missed a jump and fell down the tower and sadly broke his neck and died.

MIOSHA, OSHA and the coroner came out and inspected the premises and asked the Abbott if he had any information on this now deceased monk.

"I don't know much about him or even his name", said the Abbott, "But his face sure rings a bell."

But the story doesn't end there. His twin, who had taken over the milking of the dragon also eventually fell prey to having his arms ripped off and sure enough, he too was tasked with ringing the bell.

Sure enough, after leaping at the bell and ringing it loudly, the day came where he too fell to his death.

Again MIOSHA, OSHA and the coroner came and asked for information on the incident and the identity of the deceased.

The Abbot again sadly stated, "I don't really know who he is either, but he's a dead ringer for the previous guy".


MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Aaron;

If I had a "Groan" button on my would have gotten it, lol

Jeff B said...

"I'm not sure of his name, but his face rings a bell..."

Murphy's Law said...

"Your Honor, motion that opposing counsel be taken outside and shot."

OldAFSarge said...