Court To Defendant: "What We Have Here Is A Failure to Communicate."

I had a fun time observing some cases while waiting for mine to come up this morning.

First up was a man and woman busted for open alcohol and drinking in a motor vehicle - in front of a hotel. Yes they decided to drink in a running car rather than wait until they went into the hotel or so their story goes. Apparently they wanted to get a drink on so they would both be more attractive to each other before some fun in the room. They apparently also decided to drive to the hotel and hang out there as her kids from another baby daddy were at her apartment. Both have prior alcohol offenses and it was an interesting demonstration of the power of lousy decision-making. Unknown as to if this was a case of prostitutus interruptus or just a hookup of the Dumb and the Feckless gone stupid.

Then we had the winner of the day's hearing, who is up for driving on a suspended license after it was suspended due to an earlier DUI infraction.

Sumdood's case gets called and he goes up before the judge.
Judge: "So you're pleading to driving on an already suspended license?"
Sumdood: Yes.
Judge: So on the ___ of April you were pulled over at ___ and _ __ while driving when you're license was suspended?

Sumdood: Yes.
Judge: Is this only time you were driving on the license while it is suspended?
Sumdood: Well no, I drive to work every day.
Judge: WHAT PART OF YOU HAVE A SUSPENDED LICENSE AND MAY NOT DRIVE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? [Yes he spoke that in all caps]
Sumdood: Well I was doing it to drive to work.
Judge: Again, your license is SUSPENDED YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

Sumdood really doesn't get it and they go back and forth for a bit and perhaps it starts to sink in that yes, a suspended license means you can't legally drive, even to work, and bad things will happen if you persist in doing so.

Then the judge changes tack:
Judge: How did you get here today?
Sumdood: Uh, by car?

The judge at this point looks like he wants capital punishment for mind-numbing stupidity instituted in Michigan.

Judge: SIR, AFTER THIS HEARING AN OFFICER IS GOING TO FOLLOW YOU TO THE PARKING LOT, AND IF HE SEES YOU GET INTO A CAR AS A DRIVER YOU ARE GOING TO BE ARRESTED AND WILL GO TO JAIL, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? [The All-Caps really came out on this one]
Sumdood: Uh....
Judge: You have a suspended license and you cannot drive and you cannot drive from my courthouse after pleading guilty to driving on a suspended license! Do you get it yet?

Sumdodd indicates he is starting to get it, and the Judge then accepts the guilty plea and finishes off the case with a repeated warning to not drive ever until his license is restored. I expect Sumdood dashes off to get someone to come pick him and his ride up from the parking lot, but given his clearly established level of brilliance he may very well be in jail currently.

So the quick tip for you today is if you're in court in regards to driving on a suspended license, driving yourself there is a very, very, bad idea. I've seen multiple judges ask people how they got to court when there's a suspended license involved, and the answers are often both rather entertaining and often quite self-incriminating.