Stupid Criminal Special - 2 Drunk Drivers For The Price Of One

Our first report of stupid criminals in 2022 gives us not one but two stupid criminals caught at the same time. 

 The Detroit News: State police arrest woman for drunken driving after she picks up boyfriend who crashed

Headline couldn't fit in that boyfriend was also drunk and caused a crash, then he called his girlfriend, who then drives drunk to pick him up and speed him drunkenly away from the accident site.

The Michigan State Police got a nice 2-for-1 special, picking them both up in one fell swoop.

Well, at least they got to spend a romantic night away from each other in jail for their efforts.  

Next time, they both may want to consider not operating a car while intoxicated and calling an Uber.

Who Knew DDOT Stood For Drunken Drivers Offer Transport?

Tam has a continuing series detailing the follies of the Indianapolis Police Department and its officers issues with drunken driving and subsequent crashes.

Police, in sedans, driving drunk.

Detroit decided to top that in a big way with drunken bus drivers: DDOT bus driver accused of drunken driving in hit-and-run crash

Police say they arrested a Detroit Department of Transportation bus driver who had a blood alcohol level twice the legal limit after he sideswiped a car and then fled the scene with passengers on board.

Money Can Buy You Tricks, And Some Junk Science To Keep You Out Of The Clink

So in Texas, if you've got lots of money, you can drive drastically drunk, kill 4 people and then get...10 years probation.

The Detroit Free Press: Texas teen's defense in fatal drunken-driving crash: Affluenza

A judge’s decision to give 16-year-old Ethan Couch 10 years of probation for the fatal accident sparked outrage from relatives of those killed and has led to questions about the defense strategy. A psychologist testified in Couch’s trial in a Fort Worth juvenile court that as a result of “affluenza,” the boy should not receive the maximum 20-year prison sentence prosecutors were seeking.

And here I was thinking Wayne County, where a conviction of committing assault with intent to commit murder gets you probation was the definition of messed up.

Texas uses the Daubert standard for expert testimony. It's quite hard to see how a diagnosis of "Affluenza" (in reality the the name of a movie about how spoiling kids rotten leads to bad consequences), which is not a recognized psychological nor psychiatric diagnosis by any means, could pass the Daubert test to be admissible as evidence. Methinks the family's case of "affluenza" bought them the best junk science and "justice" money could buy.

Let's note what 16-year-old Ethan Couch did that night:

Authorities said the teen and friends were seen on surveillance video stealing two cases of beer from a store. He had seven passengers in his Ford F-350, was speeding and had a blood-alcohol level three times the legal limit, according to trial testimony. His truck slammed into the four pedestrians, killing Brian Jennings, 43, Breanna Mitchell, 24, Shelby Boyles, 21, and her mother, Hollie Boyles, 52.

Texas justice failed, and failed very, very badly this case.

Charges To Be Announced in Renisha McBride Case, Tox Report Shows She Was Very Intoxicated

Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy at a news conference set for today at 11 am will be announcing charges against the homeowner who shot Renisha McBride.

The Detroit Free Press has a live feed setup.

In other developments, it turns out (unsurprisingly) that the 19-year old Rensiha McBride was very, very intoxicated that night - .218% BAC and with marijuana in her system. Yes, that's not .021 but .21. This likely explains the car accident and perhaps the rest of her inexplicable behavior that night.

Witnesses also state she was speeding when she struck the parked car, and as we know, she left the scene, passed by numerous public establishments where she could have gone for help, and three hours later shows up on this guy's front door step.

We don't know what happened there.

Given the racially charged nature of the case, expect at least a manslaughter charge, especially if, as the Detroit Free Press keeps stating, the man did say he fired his shotgun accidentally.

A Strange Case Of Premature Ejection

Drinking, Driving and Whoopie just doesn't mix:

The Detroit Free Press: Police: New Mexico man driving drunk while having sex crashes

A New Mexico man faces multiple charges after police say he was having sex with a woman while driving drunk and crashed, ejecting the woman from the vehicle.

The Albuquerque Journal reports 25-year-old Luis Briones was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out Monday night after he wrecked his Ford Explorer in Albuquerque.

Police say Briones' female passenger was found naked outside the SUV after being ejected. She had deep cuts to her face and head.

Amazingly they both seem to have survived this bout of flirtin' with disaster ending up shaken rather than stirred.

Briones, the cad, rather than gallantly ending the date, apparently tried to flee the scene and leave his prematurely ejected passenger behind without as much as a thank you:

Authorities allege Briones tried to drive away after the crash and leave his passenger behind, but a witness grabbed his keys from the ignition. He also allegedly tried to hide from responding officers behind a cactus.

Drunk, dumb and with your shorts inside-out is no way to drive through life son.

Drunk Drivers, Hit and Run Drivers and Seatbelts

WJBK Fox Detroit: Man Severely Hurt after Hit & Run in Northville

Surveillance video (Click on the link above to view it - simply terrible) shows a white SUV rolling after a collision on Haggerty at Five Mile Road. A black truck caused the accident Tuesday around 7:00 p.m.

"He was going through the intersection at Five Mile and was just hit from the front. (That) sent him spinning and his car rolled, they say, three or four times," said Cassandra Callaghan.

Callaghan got the call a few hours later. Her father, 55-year-old David Dallas, was seriously injured. He was thrown through a window. His three grandchildren were waiting for him at the time of the crash.

According to witnesses, the driver of the truck was a white male with dark hair, possibly in his twenties. Police say he paused after the crash and they believe the suspect knew he hit someone before he took off.

"It was very clear that the driver stopped, looked and then left, which is probably the most disturbing thing to us," Callaghan said.

Even more disturbing, Callaghan's mother was hit by a drunk driver who left the scene of the accident back in December.

Dallas suffered broken bones in his back, neck and ribs. He was not wearing a seat belt.

Hopefully Mr. Dallas makes a complete recovery. I know the Callaghans -- darn good people -- so this makes it personal.

If you're in the area around Northville and you know the guy who did the hit and run, or notice the fresh damage to his truck, have him turn himself in or call police and turn the coward in.

And remember, wear your seat belt! - it reduces by far the chance of severe injury and being ejected from the car. No ifs, ands or buts. Having been in a rollover accident myself (in a Geo Prizm no less, but that's another story), the seat belt definitely saved me from being ejected and having the car roll over me, and I got through it with relatively minor injuries.

So, I pray that Mr. Dallas completely recovers and that the driver of the black truck does the right thing and turns himself in or someone else mans up and does it for him.