It's Stupid Criminal Monday

Stupid Criminal #1 Michelle Morales-Gonzales, serves as a warning that you should never, ever pretend to be a Fed, and then she went beyond just pretending that:

The Detroit Free Press: Fake agent strip-searched boy, forced family to give urine samples, feds say

A wild and bizarre impersonation tale is unfolding in federal court, where a northern Michigan woman is accused of pretending to be a federal agent, searching people’s homes for suspected drug use, detaining residents for hours and forcing them to give urine samples in 7-Eleven cups for drug testing.

She also ordered strip searches, the government says, alleging she once forced a 16-year-old boy to strip down to his underwear so she could check for needle track marks.

My bet, serious mental problems or just a bad case of wannabee-fed-itis.

This stupidity may result in up to a three-year sentence for impersonating a Fed and making false arrests and searches.

Remember folks, don't be a wannabee.

Stupid Criminal #2, Emma Czornobaj, Our next and even more stupid criminal, caused death over ducks.

Yes, ducks.

The Detroit Free Press: Woman who stopped for ducks faces life in prison

A Canadian woman parked her car on a Montreal-area highway in 2010 to help a group of ducklings; almost four years to the day later, Emma Czornobaj was on Friday found guilty of causing the deaths of a motorcyclist and his passenger daughter who smashed into her car.

She parked her car in the left lane of a highway!

She stopped for the purpose of getting out and ushering ducks across a highway. Instead of letting Darwin take its course on the avian world, she caused the death of two people who crashed into her stopped vehicle that was freakin' parked in the fast lane of a highway.

I'm not sure how we're going to top that act of criminal stupidity, but I'm sure an even more stupid criminal will come along. After all, if you read the comments in the Freep article, you'll see a multitude of people defending this idiot, so there's a healthy population of stupid out there from which our next criminal may arise.