Not Exactly A Statistic For Michigan To Be Proud Of

The Detroit Free Press: Michigan surpasses California as the top cannabis market in the U.S. by sales volume

Michigan with a population of 10 million surpasses California with a population of 39 million in terms of amount of marijuana sold. In terms of cash, in Michigan in total sales is a $4 billion industry compared to California's $6 billion marijuana industry as the devil's lettuce cost more in the land of fruits, nuts, and flakes.

This may account for the ever-present unpleasant smell of skunk in this state.

The article notes Marijuana is cheaper in Michigan than California as we have a better business climate so opening and operating marijuana businesses is cheaper and less tied up in red tape, and Michigan doesn't tax the electric lettuce quite as much.

That Michigan is leading in Soma purchases and consumption is hardly something to be proud of as a state, and consuming more than a state three times as large is kinda worrisome for its overall impact on the state's populace.

But, maybe it will lead to some new Michigan Visitor's Bureau slogans:

Great Lakes, Great Weed!

Pure Marijuana

Michigan - It's Dope!

All Skunk Smells Lead to Michigan!

Michigan, The Skunk State!

Stupid Criminals: Follow Your GPS To Jail

An example of the consequences of blindly following your GPS and of the concept of Garbage In/ Garbage Out programming.

The Detroit Free Press: GPS error leads to 60-year-old American's arrest at Canada border with 400 pounds of marijuana

A 60-year-old California man was arrested at the Canadian border last week with about 400 pounds of cannabis and more than $600,000 cash in his car, according to law enforcement.

Andrew Lee Toppenberg, of Tustin, California, mistakenly ended up at Canada's Rainbow Bridge border crossing in Niagara Falls, Ontario after following GPS coordinates that were entered incorrectly, according to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

Oopsies.

When Buying And Selling Are Controlled By Regulations

Then, to paraphrase P.J. O'Rourke, the first things to be bought and sold are regulators.

P.J. O'Rourke certainly knew what he was talking about:

The Detroit News:  Businessman pleads guilty to bribing Michigan medical marijuana licensing board chairman

Oakland County businessman John Dawood Dalaly pleaded guilty Friday to providing bribes to Rick Johnson, the chairman of Michigan's medical marijuana licensing board, and told a federal judge he hired Johnson's wife as a consultant at a rate of $4,000 a month.

Dalaly now faces up to 10 years in federal prison and became the first person to plead guilty in court as part of a wide-ranging corruption probe, examining Michigan government's awarding of licenses to sell and grow medical marijuana.

Marijuana is an industry where right now the sellers can literally grow money like a weed, with weed. Currently it's a $2 billion dollar industry so a few hundred thousand in bribes and favors is relatively cheap, and, of course, sellers are going to influence or outright bribe regulators.

Next step after bribery, the more established marijuana businesses will get their people on the regulatory boards to regulate and shut out or at least increase the cost of entry for their competition -- all in the name of public safety.

No, Don't Do That

A completely avoidable death from lousy gun-handling:

The Detroit Free Press: Man kills himself in Hamtramck parking lot, police say it was an accident

As the news notes, a man sitting in his car prior to heading into a marijuana store managed to shoot himself in the leg while removing his handgun from his holster. While he missed the draw, he likely successfully hit the femoral artery and he subsequently bled out.

We will leave for the moment that if he's using marijuana, he cannot under federal law posses a firearm, regardless of the fact that the electric lettuce is now legal in Michigan.  Federally that's still a no-no. We will also note that marijuana use tends to make you less than fully present at times.

My bet is the marijuana store had a no-firearms policy which is why he was trying to remove the firearm from his person.  I'd also bet he had on a flimsy nylon type holster and he managed to depress the trigger while trying to pull out his firearm while seated, with tragic results.

Quick Tip:  Have your handgun in a good quality holster that covers the trigger.  Then, if you're removing your firearm in a car,  or anywhere else for that matter, remove it and the holster together.  

Don't take it out of the holster, keep it in the holster with the trigger covered in nice solid kydex (or high quality leather in good condition if that strikes your fancy). There is no need to remove the gun from the holster when you are out and about unless your life or someone else's life is in imminent danger.  

Keep the gun where it belongs - in the holster.  The life you save may be your own.

The Misfortunate Musk Of Michigan Marijuana

Well, now that marijuana has been legal in Michigan for a bit we've been noticing some of the effects.

Most notably the smell.

Why someone thinks smoking something that smells like it is the efluvia from a skunk's fundament is attractive or cool is beyond me.  Yes you're getting high -- but you still smell like you've been skunked.

It hath no appeal to me at all and the smell is both rather pronounced and disgusting. You can smell someone smoking it from quite a good distance away. It reeks.

One nextdoor neighbor of mine had been partaking excessively even before it became recreational through a medical card.  Now, he's apparently on a mission to be a one-man experiment to see if regular daily use does in fact impair your cognitive functions.  So far, some cognitive decline has been detected in normal conversation with him - he really doesn't seem quite all there all the time - so, we'll see how the dope makes him more of a dope as this continues. 

He's apparently also in the marijuana business, so one would think he could afford something less stinky, but apparently not.

While his body, his choice and all that, I'd rather he didn't choose to do it in such a manner that the smoke and stench constantly travels towards our house.  

His wife apparently requires him to smoke outside away form the kids, which is a commendable thing.  Unfortunately, he's literally put up a tent on his back deck and the smoke then wafts right towards our house. It is indeed most skunk-like.

Another observation is marijuana does not in fact chill out everyone who uses it.  

It seems in his case to get him more aggravated, with this dude yelling and swearing at the top of his lungs at the TV in his tent outside, or on the phone outside while surrounded in a cloud of skunk stench.  This, along with the stench, really adds to the attraction. 

I do not think they considered this smelly unintended consequence when they legalized the electric lettuce.

No, You Really Can't Do That While Partaking of The Electric Lettuce

Got a call from a potential looking for an attorney.

Said potential was involved in an automobile accident.

Said potential was found at fault in said accident.

Nothing too serious so far.  But wait, there's more!

Said potential was found by the police at the scene to be in possession of a firearm in the car for which she had not sent in the Michigan transfer (in reality "registration") paperwork in a timely fashion though she did have a CPL.   Oops. 

Even better, said potential freely admitted to the cops that just before driving she had consumed a glass of wine and partook of a blunt of marijuana when they asked her if she had done so.  

Yep, you likely won't talk yourself out of trouble with the police, but you can sure talk yourself into it - and she sure did.

The friendly and rather professional police, not being anyone's fools. then immediately took her to get a blood draw.

Now she's looking at charges of driving under the influence, carrying under the influence, and failure to turn in the transfer paperwork.  Oh, and a failure to yield ticket too.

That's two misdemeanors and two civil infractions committed in one incident. 

Given the statements freely given and the evidence thus far, this is a damage control case.

Thankfully, no one is calling the Feds as no, you still cannot use marijuana and be in possession of firearms.

Regardless of how the state may say you can do some weed if that is your thing, the Feds still say if you're using the ganja then no gat for you.  

You also cannot be going about carrying your gun under the influence of drugs and alcohol as both the state and the feds rather frown upon that.

I quoted her a rather reasonable retainer given what we're going to have to do in this case to try and keep her out of jail. She then can't understand why she would need to pay a retainer instead of paying over time in this case.  

Well, there's a reason it's called dope, after all.  You don't want to get behind and have a doper owing you money on a case, as it will likely go up in smoke long before it gets to you, and if she can't remember to mail in a slip of paper within ten days of buying a gun, how is she going to remember to pay you, right?  Not to mention accused criminals tend to have lousy track records at paying their attorneys.  So yep, not getting retained on that one which is probably for the best anyways.

So remember folks it's still legally a choice of the gat or the ganja, not both.

Detroit: We Have Had Insufficient Time To Arrange For Graft Opportunities

The City of Detroit decided to extend its ban on legal recreational marijuana sales in the city, for the alleged reason that they need time to figure out how to make sure it helps employment in the city and keeps those terrible suburb people from setting up well-functioning dispensaries and cashing in on the deal, and of course, to ensure decent opportunities for graft.

The Detroit News: Detroit Council extends ban on recreational marijuana sales to spring

Meanwhile, illegal sales of marijuana in Detroit continue non-stop while the City Council tries to figure out how they can milk this cash-cow of legal sales. Hilariously, they're claiming what they're doing by delaying it is to ensure employment for Detroiters - while preventing such businesses from opening in the city and actually employing Detroiters, natch. Even more hilariously, they claim that recreational marijuana sales is an opportunity to as they actually claim "make Detroiters whole" after the city bankruptcy and economic downturn.

That is highly unlikely, legalized marijuana sales and taxes on same is simply not a panacea for decades of financial mismanagement especially as there's no sign the council has learned the lessons of the past mismanagement. The city council purposefully delaying it until they figure how to get their fingers in the till of recreational sales make it even less likely to be such an overwhelming and overstated benefit will ever occur.

Getting A Drivers Licenses From The Secretary Of State

In all the excitement of Abby passing her test, I forgot to relate the customer service experience at the Secretary of State (think DMV to you non-Michiganians) when we went in to get her license.

First, the SOS office (an apt acronym) is rather Soviet in efficiency: You have to stand in a line in order to get in a line. Yes, really.

So we stood in line for quite awhile, just to get a number for our spot in the line to be served. Then we waited in line some more.

Time passed rather slowly and it was well over an hour and a half before we got to get her the license.

Interestingly, the Secretary of States office had a new smell throughout it that was new since we were last there when she got her learners permit and we got to enjoy it the whole time we waited there.

The skunky smell of marijuana absolutely pervaded the place.

Now that marijuana is legal in Michigan, people seem to have no problem stinking up the place.

You'd think now it was legal they'd buy some less malodorous stuff. Also, its kinda both gutsy and dumb to show up to get your license renewed absolutely reeking of weed, especially with no driving under the influence posters festtoned on the walls. Then again, it probably was hilarious for them to get their license photos taken while stoned, 'cause being stoned and driving go together just great, right?

There's been no time to develop an etiquette on legal marijuana usage in Michigan yet, and it shows.

But, one would think having the courtesy not to cause everyone around you to get a contact high, in a government office no less, from how much skunky scent you're giving off would be an easy one to figure out. I mean, if there was a cop outside when the users left pretty sure it would be an easy for the officer to follow his nose and end up giving them a driving under the influence charge the second they got behind the wheel.

Ah well, temporary paper license finally in hand with the real one to follow by mail, fresh cold air awaited outside.