Friday, August 20, 2010

Going Bananas Over Open Carry At AB&E In Royal Oak

Some people really can't handle the concept of people exercising their rights and complying with the law, especially when it comes to firearms and self-defense rights.

Harry Cook, a "a retired Episcopal priest and a one-time reporter, editor and columnist for the Free Press." (Gee, who could guess the Detroit Free Press had such staff with their editorial slant?) has a real ha-ha funny idea for a protest:

The Detroit Free Press: Royal Oak man to bear banana, not gun, at fest
I am an introvert and try as far as in me lies to stay away from clots of people. Withal, I am girding up my loins to plunge into the man swarm at the Labor Day weekend street festival, the revelry of which will make my city unbearable to quiet pursuits. I will stride among the masses with a good-sized banana strapped to my belt, and, whenever I come upon an open-carrier with his piece, I will point to my fruit and say, “Hey, buster, mine’s longer than yours.”
Ah, the old-time pseudo-psychological canard of guns as a substitute for "equipment" size. What will he say to a lady bearing a handgun I wonder?

Mr. Cook, you plan to swagger with a large banana in your pants into what you term as a "man swarm".

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But, I do wonder about the well-being of those poor Episcopalian altar boys, especially given the history of extensive abuse in the Episcopalian Church of which you are a retired priest.  Your choice of language and planned fruitful behavior is, shall we say, interesting to say the least.  Insinuations, generalizations and aspersions can be cast upon many a group, can they not?

Remember, dear readers that Mr. Cook is a self-described introvert that doesn't like confrontations with people.

So he's going out of his way to be confrontational.

With armed people.

That he apparently fears as irrational, armed, knuckle-draggin' neanderthals.
People armed with "long, ugly pistols clipped to their belts just daring someone to object to the exercise of their Second Amendment Rights". 


I suspect that if I perform that act enough times, representatives of the local police force will want to know what the hell I think I’m doing. I will have in my pocket the numbers of the cell phones of several attorneys I know -- and, by the way, I hope they will have read this column because one or another of them may be surprised at some odd hour to hear my voice via a pay phone at the local police station seeking legal counsel.
Most people, including police, would wonder about someone who was purposefully getting in the face of armed people and pointing to a fruit in his waistband while challenging them in a "man swarm".  They might even question the wisdom and psychological hangups and health of someone performing such an act.

So stay tuned, banana fans. I’ll be out there on this Labor Day weekend seeking confrontation with the Open-Carry missionaries.
I'd suggest laughing in his face, then giving him the business card of a good therapist, and then slowly walking away, as he's clearly got some issues.

1 comment:

Scott said...

Hey buddy, is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Makes me want to go an open carry just to see if I stumble across this guy. But alas, I'll likely be somewhere where I will not only be carrying openly, but discharging firearms as well! Along with roasting brats oven an open fire, and consuming a few sodas. I could probably even bring a boom box and play some nice blues in the background. Much more fun, in my humble opinion.