Thursday, September 09, 2010

Happy Rosh HaShanah Year 5771

I'll kick off the end of the first day of the Jewish New Year with a little religious levity (After being at Synagogue all day a little humor is good to have):

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go ou t into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, ha d one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and- brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek .. So, I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ....... circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Happy Rosh HaShanah!


Expatriate Owl said...

Brings back memories! I visited NMU (and Marquette) nearly 40 years ago. The area presumably has developed considerably since then, but I am told that there still are lots and lots of forests, and lots of bears.

And because the synagogue up there (actually, it's in Ishpeming) has to import its rabbis from elsewhere, usually on a temporary basis, they often are not attuned to the ways of the northern woodlands.

I can actually envision some clueless rabbinical student in precisely that predicament.

Shanah Tovah!!

Murphy's Law said...

Heh, heh, heh...