If you can't add Gas to your car, maybe you shouldn't be driving

So yesterday I'm on my way home in a bit of a rush and realize I need to fuel up my car. No problem, I'm making good time, I'll just pop by Costco on the way home and fill up there as their gas tends to be cheaper.

I get there and there's a problem.

They have one lane completely closed with a trailer there doing something that looks like sewer cleaning.

Other lanes are also partially blocked with some pumps closed.

So I get directed into a line at a lane that has one pump open, with the nozzle on the opposite side from my gas tank (the Costco pump hoses are long, on bungee-like supports that can easily reach around your car so it doesn't matter what lane you get into - pretty efficient right?).

In front of me the car at the pump leaves and the car immediately ahead pulls up to the pump, this should be quick, its a Chrysler 300M and adding gasoline to it is a pretty easy process.

In a few words: for some, not so much.

Out get this middle aged lady (ie its not a teen with her first car and not an elderly person with early onset alzheimers - then again as you'll see maybe its extra-early onset alzheimers after all). She goes up to the pump and stares at it for a while, then fishes in her purse, gets out her card and starts to do something, presses a few buttons and seems to try again.

She then does it again, takes the hose out, looks for her gas tank (on the opposite side from the pump) and proceeds to stick the handle into the tank upside down (trigger an handle on top). This should be good.

Of course it doesn't work as the auto shut off triggers as the handle is upside down! She doesn't seem to understand.

While this is entertaining, people behind me in other lines are now done already and I'm stuck behind this bozo and pined in place with another car firmly attached to my rear bumper.

She goes back to the pump and stares.

Finally a Costco attendant comes by, hits the buttond, and then fills the gas for her, then stops, and then she puts her card in again and he continues to fill. WTF?

Eventually it is done. She now has to navigate the dreaded orange cone blocking the closed off pump in front of her. This takes a while. Finally she's gone. To put it in perspective and a rough estimate of time, I've now listened to three songs waiting for this moron to figure out how to put gas in a car.

I pull up, already with my card in hand as I've had PLENTY of time waiting. Get the process started, drag the hose over the Jeep and start filling in oh 5 seconds.

The Costco guy passes by and I ask what was the difficulty the lady was having.

Well he says first, she wanted midgrade gas (Costco only has 87 and 93 and skips the midgrade) for her car and she couldn't figure out where the button for midgrade was. Then when she realized there was no button she couldn't figure it out how to do it.

Here's a clue -- Fill half your tank with 93, the other half with 87 and voila, you have midgrade at actually a cheaper price than midgrade is typically sold for.

Here's another clue - when there's a long line line behind you have some courtesy and common sense and chose one, do not stop, do not pass go, do not stand there all slack jawed all day, just put one fuel in. If you're really concerned put in the premium, but the 300M will run on 87.

The final clue - put the handle in facing down, it works so much better then, really.

Some people probably shouldn't be allowed out in public by themselves, much less behind the wheel of a car.