Now I Need This Shirt

The only downside to the entire trip was the very close encounter with TSA.

I mean a very, very, close encounter.

I have to do the body scanner due to the hip replacement as I set off the metal detector about 80% of the time, causing issues and untoward excitement.  As such, I just opt in to do the body scan to save a lot of hassle. 

This time even opting in, I got the hassle.

While in line, I saw the TSA agent doing a very thorough groin area search on a guy ahead of me in line.

Didn't think much of it and continued in the line. 

For the first time ever, when I walked through the scan stated it didn't work.

I walked through again, and it showed a red square at my groin area. Funny, that.  Was the machine malfunctioning or was someone marking off that area to be funny or what? Not so funny is what happened next.

I will note I was wearing cloth shorts where the only metal was the very thin zipper on it and I was wearing normal (and clean, thank you very much) underwear at the time that I have worn through security lots of times in the past.

So I got a very, very, thorough groin area check that was quite a bit much for a first date, without the agent even offering to buy me dinner first. You might say things got handled.

No, there was indeed nothing prohibited there, just ahem, me. 

I now need this shirt:

 

No,That Doesn't Belong In Your Carry On

Really, it does not.

The Detroit News: Feds seize inert grenade at Detroit Metro Airport

Not sure how the traveler didn't get the memo,  but grenades, whether live or inert, do not belong in your carry-on.

Federal security officials seized an inert hand grenade last week at Detroit Metro Airport, they said.

Transportation Security Administration officers discovered the grenade in a traveler’s carry-on bag on June 15 during routine screening, officials said Monday.

So no, don't do that. 

In other news you ought to know already, your Costco membership card does NOT COUNT as REAL ID to get you on an aircraft. Seriously, a dimwit has tried.

Just A Passenger Ahead Of His Time On Security Screening Technique

You know how some wags suggested that TSA would soon require everyone to disrobe before getting on an aircraft?

Sumdood decided to put this security screening method to the test before it was bureaucratically approved.

The Detroit News: Naked man tries to get past security at Detroit Metro Airport

In short, TSA is not ready to adopt naked passenger security screening at this time.

Now, Stop Doing That!

Click On Detroit: TSA finds 2 firearms in carry-on luggage at Detroit Metro Airport

Two firearms were found in separate instances Thursday morning by the Transportation Security Administration at Detroit Metropolitan Airport.

The first was found about 5 a.m. in the carry-on luggage of a 41-year-old woman flying to Fort Lauderdale. She was carrying a loaded 9 mm Glock. TSA immediately notified local law enforcement, who arrested the passenger on a local charge.

The second firearm was found in the carry-on bag of a 56-year-old man flying to Dallas. He was carrying a loaded .38 caliber revolver.

Four firearms have been found in carry-on luggage at DTW this year. There were 32 firearms detected at DTW in 2014.

Both people likely had no evil intent, but they're both likely facing some serious charges for stupidly forgetting to take their firearms out of their carry-ons, or being dumb enough to somehow think you can fly with a firearm in your carry-on luggage. You really can't.

The stupid tax on these people is going to be high.

TSA's Airport Security Theater - Now Keeping The Audience Riveted

So some traveler leaves the secured area at Detroit Metro, apparently forgot something in the secured area and, instead of going through security decided to push his way back past the dreaded "Do Not Cross" red barriers.

Much insanity then ensues. They didn't just stop people from coming into the secured area at that point, they stopped everyone from leaving it.

The Detroit Free Press: Metro Airport lockdown lifts after 2½ hours; traveler arrested after forcing past security

“They lowered the gates where no one could go into the terminal,” Geiger said. “It looks like they’re not letting any flights board or leave.”

Geiger said he saw multiple TSA agents searching the perimeter.

. . .

Mary Coleman had already been waiting for more than a half-hour for her nephew to get off his flight from New Orleans.

"He's texting me and saying the concourse is completely shut down in between the gates and the baggage area,” Coleman said earlier in the lockdown. “He said they aren't being told what's going on."

Scott Warheit said he was sitting in a car outside of the airport waiting for his parents to exit the building.

“They are in a Delta terminal, caged in and unable to leave or get to baggage claim,” Warheit said. “I’m parked outside baggage claim. There’s lots of traffic.”

So the solution to someone breaking back into the secured area is to lock down the whole airport and stop people from leaving the secured area.

Anyone else think that leaves a whole bunch of potential victims locked in with a potential terrorist had this been a real incident? How does it enhance safety to leave people locked in the secure area rather than processing them out quickly and in an organized manner?

Remember this was due solely to

“A passenger, who was already on the secured side of the screened checkpoint, exited through the line and made the decision to turn back around and go through the secured side without being screened again,” he said.

From the description he was observed the entire time he left and then reentered the area, which wouldn't leave him much of an opportunity to cause a problem. If he had in fact been bent on mayhem, then having an audience locked in with him for his performance would have been a plus, and not in a good way.

It's not just inconvenient security theater, its downright dangerous and inconvenient security theater.